In the nineteen thirties, Winston Churchill was a voice in the wilderness, speaking out against the rise of Nazi Germany. Today, I am very much like Churchill, warning anyone who crosses my path of the imminent danger faced by America today. Not just America, but the entire human species.
We are threatened by our own dead. You see, sometimes they reanimate. And when they do, they are always hungry for fresh, salty, warm, human brains.
Do not call me insane. I have never been fired by NPR
, though I must admit to feeling nervous when a member of the Undead-American community sits near me on an airplane. How can one not notice the bad breath of the open grave in such a closed environment?
Not even Hitler, chowing down on vegetables and farting uncontrollably
, could emit such hellish odors.
Thankfully, I am not alone in my convictions that zombies are a threat to be taken quite seriously. Perhaps responding to my earlier posting about zombie phenomena in the insect world
is directing its formidable journalistic resources to examining the presence of the undead in our community.Click here for more
And again, I take full credit when any major institution treats our zombie foes with the attention that they deserve.